What is the difference between a camel and a diplomat?
A camel can work for days without drinking and a diplomat can drink for days without working.
Tag Archives: short jokes
Joke of the day – You’re A to K
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”
She asked, “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”
She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
Joke of the day – Writing in zero gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.
The Russians use a pencil.
Joke of the day – The zoo
“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”
Joke of the day – Saying grace
A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Joke of the day – Theater ticket
On a visit to the local theater, an elderly man asked for the admission prices.
“Balcony seats are $15 each, circle seats are $10 each, stalls are $5 each and the programs are 50 cents, sir,” replied the lady behind the ticket counter.
“Right,” said the elderly man. “Give me a program and I’ll sit on it.”
Joke of the day – Simple math
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
Joke of the day – The Italian woman
My friend was stocking the shelves in a shop where he worked when a woman with a distinctive Italian accent asked him, “Please, sir. Where can I find a water go spaghetti stop?”
Puzzled, my friend paid close attention as she repeated her request, this time adding hand gestures. Then it dawned on him what she wanted. He led her to another aisle and found a “water go, spaghetti stop” – a colander.
Joke of the day – The part-time helper
I hired a part-time helper last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. So, one day I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Bobby. I asked her, “What was that for?” She replied, “Can’t forget my helper! Bobby has a great tongue, and always help me do the dishes!!!”
Joke of the day – The professional photographer
As a professional photographer, Julie takes a lot of pride in her pictures. Wherever she goes, she brings her pictures with her, to show off her work.
”Wow”, said her host Samantha,”these are really nice pictures, you must have a great camera.”
Fuming mad at the implication that her whole talent came from her camera, Julie waited until the end of the meal. She then thanked her host, “Thank you, the meal was delicious.” And as if an afterthought added, “you must have great pots.”
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