My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework.
One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with _________.”
His response: “Receipts.”
Tag Archives: humor
Joke of the day – Short form
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Joke of the day – Wrong lane
“When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
Joke of the day – Brake fluid
“I’m addicted to brake fluid,
but I can stop whenever I want.”
Joke of the day – Music shop
A sign at a music shop:
“Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”
Joke of the day – Porsche for sale
A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for a price of $10.
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly incredulous.
“What’s the gimmick?” he inquired.
“No gimmick” the woman replied.
“My husband died and in his will he asked that the car be sold
and the money go to his secretary.”
Joke of the day – Pizza
You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.
NBC talks about FACEBook
Interview with FM (FreeMice) Radio Station:
Q: Humans today are so addicted to social media particularly the FACEBook. What is your definition of FACEBook?
A: FACEBook is Find A Cat Emergency Book….hehe just kidding! The correct definition is Filling A Common Emptiness Book.
Q: Why do you say filling a common emptiness?
A: Yes, let’s call it the Emptiness Tank or short, E-Tank. FACEBook has become a filler for these humans.
Q: What kind of stuff do humans fill in their E-tanks?
A: Humans can be rather kooky. Based on my ‘catscan’ reading, humans who are addicted to FACEBook are usually the lonely and the bored ones. Below are a few cat-egories of the kind of stuff humans put into their E-tanks:
Cat. 01 : The Foodsie
This human will record and photograph every meal in fancy restaurants and ensure the photos are posted in real-time. Gee…I thought humans should say grace before meals. Guess I was wrong. This type of human is confused between FACEBook and FOODBook and they are commonly found in Asian countries.
Cat. 02: The Super chef
This human says ‘In case you don’t know, I can cook like a celebrity chef.’ See what I’ve cooked for my family – breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper……zzzzZZZZ.
Cat. 03: The Flashy Human
“Well friends, look how successful, happy and purrrrrfect my life is.” My human refers to this type of human as the modest narcissist. Everything said and posted on FACEBook will always be I, Me and Myself.
Cat. 04: The Love Professor
Human who constantly professes love for spouse/partner on each other’s walls – “I’m so blessed to have the BEST and most caring husband in the world.” “My wife is so beautiful and she can cook too!” Seriously, do you need to plaster your relationship on the wall?
Cat. 05: The Moaner
The human who complains about everything. You’ll probably see a posting that goes like “Oh…I’m so sad. I woke up this morning and I saw a big pimple on my nose.” What a pathetic way to seek attention!
Q: So, I guess you are not a FACEBook fan?
A: Yeah, too many FACEBook users have become FACEBrags. It used to be fun just sharing and connecting with friends. My human is no longer an active user on FACEBook. Probably because she’s overwhelmed with the floods of information about anything and everything.
Q: There are many humans out there who still love FACEBook. Do you think humans will respond negatively to what you’ve said about FACEBook?
A: Well, humans are entitled to their own opinion, no matter how oblique they are. We cats are really not bothered by how humans perceive us. Besides, cats are independent and meticulous observers.
Q: What else do you want to say to humans about FACEBook?
A: Just remember these 5 things:
1. Not everything needs to be recorded and not everything needs to be photographed and posted on FACEBook or anywhere else.
2. Before you post anything, please ask yourself, is this interesting, informative or amusing?
3. Get rid of the fear of missing out.
4. The more FACEBook time, the less FACETime (real-life time) and it’s a reminder to step back and re-think your priorities.
5. Keep some of your personal life…you know, personal!
Joke of the day- Lesson on giving
The town’s richest man met with the minister after the Sunday service. “Why does everyone call me cheap and stingy?” complained the man. “I’ve told everyone I’m leaving half my money to the church when I die.”
The minister nodded. “It reminds me of the story about the pig and cow. The cow was much loved by the farmer and his neighbours, while the pig was not popular at all. The pig could not understand this and asked the cow about it.”
“How come you are so well-like cow? People say you’re generous and good because you give milk and butter and cream every day. But I give more than that. From me they get bacon and ham; they even pickle my feet. Yet I’m not popular and you are. “Why do you think that is?”
The cow replied, “Perhaps it’s because I give while I’m still alive.”
“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing rods.”
– Doug Larson
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 