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Joke of the day – Prodigious

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What’s more amazing than a talking dog is a spelling bee.

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Joke of the day – The accident

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A Buddhist knocked on the vicar’s door with the sad news:

“My carma has just run over your dogma.”

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Joke of the day – Opportunist

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Dear Optimist & Pessimist,

While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water,
I drank it.

~ Opportunist

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Joke of the day – Book critic

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“I read your new book.” said the snobbish critic to the author.
“Who wrote it for you?”

“Who read it for you?” he replied.

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Joke of the day – Cavity

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A cavity is an empty space waiting to be filled with dentist bills.

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Joke of the day – Bathtub

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A farmer and his son were on a train headed for their first visit to the city when a priest hobbled into their compartment on crutches, with his foot in plaster.

“Slipped in the bathtub,” he explained.

When the priest got out at the next station the son said, “What’s a bathtub, Dad?”

“I dunno son, I’m not a Catholic.”

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Joke of the day – Car sickness

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The feeling you get every month when the
payment is due.

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Joke of the day – Turn heads

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The most effective way to turn people’s heads is to go to church late.

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Joke of the day – Operation

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A patient walked into a doctor’s office and was told he needed an operation.

He asked, “What’s the operation for?”

The doctor said, “Five thousand dollars.”

The patient said, “No, I meant, what’s the reason?”

The doctor said, “I told you – five thousand dollars!”

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Joke of the day – Successful salesman

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Rookie: How did you become such a successful door-to-door salesman?

Salesman: It’s all because of the first five words I utter when a woman opens the door. “Miss, is your mother in?”