A farmer and his son were on a train headed for their first visit to the city when a priest hobbled into their compartment on crutches, with his foot in plaster.
“Slipped in the bathtub,” he explained.
When the priest got out at the next station the son said, “What’s a bathtub, Dad?”
“I dunno son, I’m not a Catholic.”
The feeling you get every month when the
payment is due.
The most effective way to turn people’s heads is to go to church late.
A patient walked into a doctor’s office and was told he needed an operation.
He asked, “What’s the operation for?”
The doctor said, “Five thousand dollars.”
The patient said, “No, I meant, what’s the reason?”
The doctor said, “I told you – five thousand dollars!”
Rookie: How did you become such a successful door-to-door salesman?
Salesman: It’s all because of the first five words I utter when a woman opens the door. “Miss, is your mother in?”
Is it possible to stretch music so that it will last a little longer?
Yes, if you have a rubber band.
Bob: I used to think I was a beagle. But the psychiatrist cured me.
Bill: How are you now?
Bob: Great! Just feel my nose.
Jim: What’s the name of your bank?
Wilbur: Piggy
When a librarian goes fishing, what does she use for bait?
Bookworms
I think they call it middle age because that’s where it shows first.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 